Fun day today.. Really. Promise.
Day started off normal. Got up at 7.30, realised I was late, grabbed a cab, ended up spending more then I should and still getting to the destination earlier then anyone else.
So today is the first time we are reheasing with the entire troupe. The dancers from China are here and we do all 5 scenes. In addition to the Harbin Troupe and the CHIJ dancers, there are 4 little children who will be playing the roles of "Happy Child #1 to #4". At the start of the day, the 4 little kiddies were sitting quietly in the corner, watching the play. In was later discovered that at least 2 of them were the bosses' children. And all of them are little terrors. All except one boy, who was relatively quiet, but only because his mother was around. I'd bet he's a little terror too by nature. Look at his mother :p
So anyway, the king of terrors went by the name of "Koh Liang Yi". I shall now call him The Little Fucker. The Little Fucker is just that, a fucker, only smaller. He did the usual Little Fucker things like hit me, stomp on my feet and tried to take away my stick. I gave the stick to him at first, but then I decided to take it back in case he hurts someone. However, he refused to leave me and my stick (wooden stick I mean, you pervs) alone. He kept pulling at it.. and I pulled back. He hand gave way, the stick smashed in to my face, I was not too pleased. But that did not make me lose my temper yet.
The ultimate came when I threatened him, "Do you know what a slap is?" I asked.
He nodded and proceed to slap me across my cheeks twice. That was the ultimate. By reflex, I grabbed his throat for a chokehold but quickly let go cause I regained control. I got so mad that I called him over and stared into his face and in my lowest and most fearful (to kids) voice, I said to him,
"Come here, look at me. I'm not fucking joking ok. Let me tell you, if you ever come and bother us again, I will tell your parents and make sure they cane you so hard that you backside bleeds. I will make sure that they will whip you so bad that even when you shit blood will come out. I will make sure it hurts so bad that you can't even sit. I am not joking. Do you understand me? I said I am not joking. Now, go and sit down."
The Little Fucker was smiling all the way when I was telling him this, but I think the message go through. He did return to his seat and sat down, and he did stay there for a while. Then it was his turn to go on stage. The Little Fucker.
It was a bittersweet victory. The Little Fucker stopped bothering us, but I felt bad for traumatizing the Little Fucker. What if he grows up and has some kind of mental problem because of this? I hope not.
This same Little Fucker later decided to try and play with us again. He hid Ian's and my slippers under a pair of chairs. It was very obvious where they were and we were watching him when he "hid" them. After the rehearsal, I went to retrieve my footwear when the Little Fucker came running up to us and said," ha ha, I hid your sleeeepers!!"
I glared at him and said," you forgot what I told you already is it?"
He quickly pushed the chairs aside and said meekly,"Accidently only...."
What a cute Little Fucker.
Later in the day, I got to scold another guy. The Hereen Pervert AKA The Crybaby.
I was at Hereen, Level 4 toilets when I noticed that some sick fucker was filming guys peeing from a cubicle opposite the urinals. He was shooting with a camcorder from under the door. I bent down and got a good look at his shoes and jeans. I was still with Ian at that time and since it was early and we were curious, we decided to hang about to see what the Perv looked like. We figured we could just recognise him from his bag and shoes.
We waited for about 5 minutes, but he didn't come out. So we went back in there and knocked on the cubicle door.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Why ah? At least tell us why man..." No reply. But I did see the red record light come on and go off. The Perv quickly retreated to the back of the stall where he pretended to be shitting.
Wanna play the waiting game? Fine. Game on then.
The plan was to just wait outside for him to come out and then confront him. After about 10 minutes of waiting, no show. I was getting tired of waiting, I was pretty sure the perv wouldn't mine staying in there till the cows came home, or at least till closing time. So I figured, just one last glance, maybe a few harsh words and we'll be out of there.
Went in, saw the camera back in action and Ian decided to just get down and say hi. Ian peered under the door and literally, said "hi". At this point, this big.. obese security guard came in. He saw Ian on the floor, peering under the cubicle and then proceeded to wash his hands. You can always feel safe with a secuity guard. Thats what they give you, security. Yup. Ian got up, and I told him that a guard was here, and so he gave the guard the whole story. The guard did try to bend over to see the camera for himself, but his hugh belly got in the way. It took the prompting of 2 Bengs who knew that the perv was there too before he whipped out his trusty walkie-talkie.
"Control Station, can you send someone to the 4th floor toilet?"
"What for la??"
"Err.. just send someone to the 4th floor toilet..."
"Why la??"
"Just send someone to the 4th floor toilet..."
"For what??? whats the problem? Clog is it??"
"Theres a guy with a camera in here."
". . . "
The Bengs took the situation in there own hands though. I was kinda pleased about that, at least there would be SOME action after waiting so long. They used their helmets and banged on the stall's door. "Oei!!! Come out!! Come out!!"
"what?? I'm doing my business la... Wait la!!" Came the gay perv's denial.
The Bengs would here none of that and continued to pound on the door. One even climbed over the door and caught a glance at the fat faggot that was in there. Finally, after much pounding, this huge, yellow (yellow dirty fellow), pimple-faced malay guy came out.
"What.. I was doing my business la...What you want??"
"Business your head!! So long!! Don't tok kok, where is the camera?" Asked Beng #1.
"sorry la... theres no film..."
"Don't tok kok la!! Bring camera don't bring film!!" Retorted Ian.
"no.. no film.. no battery also.. you see.."
This guy must really think we're idiots. A big giant bag and a camera in his hand. He expects us to think theres no film OR batteries. Yea right.
"Don't tok kok! You think we're idiots is it? I saw that red light on your camera and that means it was recording!! You don't think we are idiots!" I yelled. ( I really did, I surprised myself even)
The perv began to sob. That was the point that got me. Fuck, a grown man, of about 18 or 19, crying cause he was caught filming men pee. To me, that was a suicide case already to happen so I really didn't know WHAT to do.
"Please.. I didn't mean it.. I'm sorry.. theres no battery.. no film.. please let me go.. no police... just let me go home" begged the desperate perv.
Funny thing is.. we let him go. He just sobbed, and made his way out of there. Leaving the 5 of us in the toilet, totally stunned. Fucking gay tears. Must have been magic or something.
So after all that, me and Ian were like talking about how we would make his life hell if we could do it again, how we wouldn't let him off so easily, how we would curse and scold and mock him. We even said if we ever saw him on an MRT train, we would yell out pervert and sing Homo songs. We even practiced them. The songs I mean. But that was for fun, we knew we'd never meet him again.
We took a train from Somerset to City Hall to meet Zhijie cause we wanted to tell him the story. When the train pulled into Dhoby Gaught station, Ian got all excited, as though we missed our station, I was thinking, "eh? City Hall is the next stop what. What's he so excited about... UNLESS.................."
The cabin doors open and guess who steps in? Our good friend, Yellow (yellow dirty fellow) perv.
Ian went over and said," Hello friend! Pretend never see us ah.."
This time, our faggoty doo dah day wasn't panicking, he took the easy way out. Ignore us. Despite my taunts and public announcments, he would not look up from his phone. He refused to even look at us. He was on the verge of crying when I said out," Eh, you run quite fast ah, must teach us sia.. but first, can you please tell us, why the fuck did you use a camera and film men peeing in a public toilet?"
The guy next to me didn't dare move a muscle. He just stared at his book while the sick perv concentrated on his snake. The game in his nokia, I mean.
Seeing no response, I adopted that tone that I used on the Little Fucker earlier today and gave the perv the last of my kok for that day. Which was really just drivel but I think we traumatized him enough all ready. I think the phrase, "we can follow you home now" really freaked him out.
In the end, seeing that the perv was on the brink of total humilation, we let him off. We watched as he got onto the east bound train and when he finally looked up at us, we waved back at him. He quickly looked away again. Hopefully I won't see his picture in the papers tomorrow.
So that was pretty much the most happening things today. Other things involved banging my 2 front teeth on a wooden stick, playing a drunk soldier, laughing at Chinaman's english, getting scolded by chinamen, watching girls, dreaming about girls from work and getting fucked by out boss. But I'm too sleepy now.
soon soon.
